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APPLICATION: WE'RE STILL HERE
PLAYER INFO.
NAME: Em
PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/Her
ARE YOU OVER 18? Y
CONTACT:![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
rifting
CURRENT CHARACTERS: None, but pending app for Dean Winchester | Supernatural
CHARACTER INFO.
NAME: Ian Fowler
CANON: OC
CANON POINT: before the alien apocalypse
AGE: 31
GENDER: M
HISTORY:
•Born September 1, 1986 in Weaverville, California.
•Single mother and an absent father without even a name to him, he believes his mother may have an idea or two of who it could be but not any real certainty.
•His mother worked 2 jobs to keep them financially afloat, meaning as soon as he was old enough Ian became a latchkey kid and spent the vast majority of his time alone.
•His mother's constant absence started taking a toll on him during his turbulent emotional pre-puberty years, and a specific incident therein sparked the first manifestation of his "talent", aka bullshit fancy word for power. He was ten years old, begging his mom to do something with him — he can't even remember what anymore — while she was getting ready for work. She didn't even slow down her routine to remotely consider it, and breezed out the door without noticing how distressed he was getting over the whole thing. He went back into his room peak emotional and started trying to channel it into reassembling an alarm clock. He dropped a gear, it rolled away, and he lost it. And then he really lost it, smashed the clock, started crying, noticed his wrist glowing. Wound up holding that gear in his palm with no real explanation. He's kept this to himself almost his entire life, with the exception of his teenage best friend eventually.
•In this world, that kind of thing is rare enough that Ian's never met anyone else who could do anything like it — but that's only because he doesn't know how to even begin chasing that thread, and he has no real interest in trying.
•In his teen years he fell into a group of semi-hoodlum kids he'd smoke pot or break into abandoned buildings with, but in the mining town that is Weaverville there isn't really a lot of trouble you can get into.
•Became best friends with a boy named Dusty spanning grades 8-12. He didn't realize it until years after the fact, but he'd been in love with Dusty for most of them. After senior year, Dusty chose to go to the same college as his then-girlfriend, as normal guys do around that age, and Ian took it extremely personally. They fell out of touch shortly after.
•Pushed by his mother to make a better life for himself than she could give him, he attended a decent college riding mostly on scholarships, and ultimately followed his tendency to take things apart & put them back together to decide on an engineering major.
•Did your rather stereotypical experimenting in his under-grad years, sleeping around and playing with recreational drugs off and on
Found out his mother had cancer not long after he started post-grad, she was a pack a day smoker who didn't quit even after her diagnosis. She passed away 6 months later.
•He spent a few years after her passing withdrawn and channeling all of his feelings into school or work or projects.
•Private consulting / contracting after getting his masters, took on a few apprentices and found he really liked sharing his knowledge or guiding them to their fullest potential.
•Experimented with teaching off and on until his resume was good enough to get an adjunct lecturer position at Berkeley, where he devoted most of his focus rather than contracted work.
•Started working toward his doctorate in tandem with this.
APPEARANCE: link one, link two
ABILITIES:
SUPERNATURAL
Matter Creation.
Essentially he can create matter/objects if he can visualize it in his mind - for example, a nail slowly forming itself together as if drawing from the air around it.
The limitations on this are vast - he has to know something in order to create it. For instance, he can't create a book he hasn't read or the pages will just be blank. He can't create diamonds because he doesn't just hang out with diamonds. Limited to no organic material - no food, plants, living creatures. He can make water at room temperature, coffee at the temperature his body is familiar with drinking it, and one single unfortunate brand of Tequila (thanks, college). He can also make a few varieties of lube, for both a mechanical and biological use (also thanks, college).
The larger and more complex an item is, the more difficult it is for him to make. He uses this gift often in engineering work, creating models or piece parts. If pressed he can also create entire machines if he intimately knows their inner workings, but frankly it's less exhausting just to make things by hand. It takes time for the atoms to knit themselves together, even more if he has to concentrate on separating parts from one another rather than melding them together. It's tedious, time consuming, absolutely exhausting work. If it's anything more complicated than a toaster it's going to take like a full fucking day. He could just build it faster.
NORMAL
Ian is an experienced engineer with enough of a resume and grasp on the subject that he was able to get a lecturer position at Berkeley, which is possible to get with only a Master's degree but isn't very common. He's also nearly finished completing his requirements for a doctorate. He minored in chemistry, but that's not his specialty.
SUITABILITY:
Later on in Ian's history, his world falls victim to alien subjugation. I'm taking him before then so the horror is more impactful, but it's worth mentioning because his ultimate history involves adapting to the horrifying realities of an apocalypse. There will be a several week span wherein he's a total bitch about things compared to your generic action hero — he is very much not a protagonist in any real sense. If he were going to be anything in a movie, he'd be the quirky sidekick or the random small-part love interest. He never really becomes that either, and instead as he gets accustomed to the whole grim-dark survival horror scene, he uses his talents as an engineer to improve the lives of the people in his camp & strategically plan scavenging missions by helping identify alien patterns. He also has a high tendency to be diplomatic and reasonable under pressure, so he provides valuable insight during intense urgent decision-making situations.
PERSONALITY.
If we're being incredibly literal here, the mistake he would undo isn't his own but rather his mother's. The end result, coincidentally, was in fact her death. She made the choice to not even bother trying to quit smoking after she was diagnosed with lung cancer, rendering her ineligible for a transplant and generally making treatment altogether pointless. He didn't understand her reasoning (the reality of their financial situation, the concept of saddling her only son with a tremendous amount of medical debt when she's worked her ass off her entire life to provide for him was just not acceptable) and to this day he still carries around an intense amount of baggage over it. It impacts his relationships, it scared him almost completely away from intimacy, and there's a low-burning resentment inside of him that he adamantly refuses to think about or deal with. In a nutshell, undoing that would be one of most impactful possible things that could ever happen to him.
However — because there's always a caveat, nothing is ever simple — one of Ian's stronger personality traits is having built himself around what he thinks a "good person" should be. He adheres to what he considers to be the most obvious moral truths, the notion that sometimes (but not always, he knows) there is just a black and white right or wrong, which means there's an obvious choice and an incorrect one. He considers himself wise enough to know the difference, and he refuses to deviate from it — to the point that it will, later in his life, cause a heated rivalry with the more militaristic personalities at his camp. He believes so vehemently in doing the right thing no matter what, he actually uses it to prop his ego up a little. He tends to judge people who don't agree with his stance on those issues, he consoles himself in fights by being "the better person" and staying calm during arguments while the other person spirals out, basically he just really fluffs himself on the notion that he's all good and wise and shit.
Combine that with his lingering resentment and a healthy dose of logic that he'd apply to the whole thing — namely that if his mother came back but still had cancer, she'd refuse treatment again and it will have all been for nothing — and he just couldn't live with himself for risking other people over it, no matter how much it screws him up thinking about the alternative.
This is another area where Ian would like to tell himself he's emotionally wise — and not to be completely unfair of him, it does have a little bit of truth to it. Still, there's no denying that subconscious bit of ego that says 'I know what the right answer to this is, it's obvious'. He'd fall back to the well-worn adage that our memories are what makes us who we are. If we take away something from our past, we're taking away part of what makes us ourselves. He'd also love to go on a lecture about how negative emotions serve the purpose of contrasting positive ones, thereby making the latter more meaningful. You can only really appreciate happiness when you've experienced grief. It wouldn't be a very difficult issue for him to take a stance on — even if a small annoying portion of his brain acknowledges that without the pain of losing his mother he'd probably be healthier mentally.
This is an excellent transition to take from the above bullets, considering so much of him is wrapped around this sense of concrete belief in knowing right from wrong and consistently choosing to be right. Ian has a sort of semi-permanent state of chill, a nigh-unflappable calm at almost all times. His patience stretches a mile, and no amount of name-calling, insulting, digging, or general negativity really impacts that. It might seem like he has no temper at all, right up until he does. When personally slighted or otherwise given a solid reason to finally get angry, Ian goes from zero to one hundred fast. Those miles and miles of chill snap like a damn pencil, and he becomes a heated argumentative dick that targets the exact most hurtful thing he could say in that moment and he wields it like a knife, thrusting it right on in.
Afterward, the amount of guilt he feels over it is extremely weighty. He'll carry it until either the relationship fizzles entirely, or until he can have a conversation with the person to apologize with a real genuineness to it. Even after it's clear they've forgiven him, he'll still consider himself an asshole for a while longer.
If he's like that with something as small as an interpersonal argument, a huge moral wrongdoing would be unshakable. If it's not something he could apologize for, if it's not something he could be granted clear forgiveness for, he'd carry around with him for an exceptionally long time. It would generally dampen him on a day to day, and it would help turn him toward unhealthy coping mechanisms just like the eventual apocalypse will - mostly alcohol. He doesn't open up enough to let anyone in and get help unpacking the intense things that shake him to his core, so instead he'd numb the feeling as much as possible and invest all of his concentration constantly into some kind of work, some kind of project. It would screw up one of his ego's primary support beams, and the impact would be long term if not permanent.
The difficult thing about Ian is his adamant refusal to let himself feel extremely attached to any one person. He jumps through an enormous amount of mental loops to dodge intimacy, and anything that seems more serious than casual friendship will make him sabotage or ghost someone - sometimes intentionally, sometimes subconsciously. This means that coming straight from home, he won't have any strong loyalty to any one character and won't for quite a long time until something forces him to. Without that gravity, he wouldn't feel obligated to keep a secret that could save lives. He'd be stoic and apologetic to whoever he betrayed, and he'd mean it, but he'd be filled with a sense of moral righteousness and justification that would concrete his decision.
Where this becomes precarious is after someone manages to coax emotional ties out of him. With enough work and determination, it's possible to break through Ian's protective walls and tug out that part of him that's extremely lonely. The reason he guards himself so tightly is because he doesn't think he could stand another loss, not after his mother. This means that once somebody is in, they're in. He'll fight tooth and nail to keep them, because the pain of losing a loved one is really his greatest fear. If the secret belonged to one of those kinds of people, the kind that matter to him, his whole sense of moral rightness would slam into his need to cling to "his person" in a conflicting way that would really lock him up. He'd struggle with this dilemma with everything in him.
His first impulse would be to try and reason with his person. When in doubt, logic and diplomacy to the rescue — he'll jump onto the subject and absolutely refuse to let it die if he thinks there's even a slim chance he can get them to see reason and, by extension, give him their permission to air that secret to the world. After reasoning would come pleading, arguing, desperately trying to make a case. If that proved futile, at the end of the day, he has to do the right thing. He just has to. He might tell himself that anyone who wouldn't be willing to share something damaging at the cost of other people's lives probably shouldn't be admired as much as he does, even if he didn't believe himself. That bullshit moral wisdom that's so easy to turn onto others turned on himself instead, and really it just makes him a little bit bitter.
After he inevitably lost that relationship over this, he'd fall back into the mindset of 'all relationships end, it was doomed from the start, I knew better, it was inevitable' and go on a nice alcoholic pity party by himself.
The only times Ian has ever gotten anything resembling joy out of hurting someone else is purely verbal. The first and more innocent way stems from his tendency to stand up on his moral high horse about certain issues, snap-judge someone on the opposite side, and then enter a "casual conversation" about it. During this, he'd not-so-subtly probe at a person's mindset, their flawed decision-making, the ways that they're wrong, anything he can passive aggressively dig at to get them talking themselves into a hole. An example of this would be something like politics — he's definitely one of those dicks that will "just try to understand" a Republican's position but everyone can clearly see he's leading the conversation somewhere that likely annoys the shit out of the person he's talking to.
The second, markedly worse way is his tendency to sharply barb someone during an argument. Though it's rare, partly because he's really hard to push into losing his temper and partly because he doesn't let anyone in close enough for this kind of passion in the first place, when he does lose his cool he genuinely says the meanest possible shit. Whatever will sting the most, whatever cuts, whatever really just drives the knife in gives him a kind of instant gratification sensation in the moment. It feels good, it feels like he's won something or he's gotten some kind of justice from hurting someone back the way he feels hurt. He feels absolutely terrible afterward, but the concept of doing this doesn't scare him. He likes seeing himself as such a calm and measured individual, he doesn't consider what happens when he snaps — because he doesn't think he'll let himself snap, not until he's already snapping.
WRITING SAMPLES.
SAMPLES:
log sample
network sample
NOTES.
QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS: Sorry for all that tl;dr about an OC fellas, I have gotten Too Extra.
NAME: Em
PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/Her
ARE YOU OVER 18? Y
CONTACT:
CURRENT CHARACTERS: None, but pending app for Dean Winchester | Supernatural
CHARACTER INFO.
NAME: Ian Fowler
CANON: OC
CANON POINT: before the alien apocalypse
AGE: 31
GENDER: M
HISTORY:
•Born September 1, 1986 in Weaverville, California.
•Single mother and an absent father without even a name to him, he believes his mother may have an idea or two of who it could be but not any real certainty.
•His mother worked 2 jobs to keep them financially afloat, meaning as soon as he was old enough Ian became a latchkey kid and spent the vast majority of his time alone.
•His mother's constant absence started taking a toll on him during his turbulent emotional pre-puberty years, and a specific incident therein sparked the first manifestation of his "talent", aka bullshit fancy word for power. He was ten years old, begging his mom to do something with him — he can't even remember what anymore — while she was getting ready for work. She didn't even slow down her routine to remotely consider it, and breezed out the door without noticing how distressed he was getting over the whole thing. He went back into his room peak emotional and started trying to channel it into reassembling an alarm clock. He dropped a gear, it rolled away, and he lost it. And then he really lost it, smashed the clock, started crying, noticed his wrist glowing. Wound up holding that gear in his palm with no real explanation. He's kept this to himself almost his entire life, with the exception of his teenage best friend eventually.
•In this world, that kind of thing is rare enough that Ian's never met anyone else who could do anything like it — but that's only because he doesn't know how to even begin chasing that thread, and he has no real interest in trying.
•In his teen years he fell into a group of semi-hoodlum kids he'd smoke pot or break into abandoned buildings with, but in the mining town that is Weaverville there isn't really a lot of trouble you can get into.
•Became best friends with a boy named Dusty spanning grades 8-12. He didn't realize it until years after the fact, but he'd been in love with Dusty for most of them. After senior year, Dusty chose to go to the same college as his then-girlfriend, as normal guys do around that age, and Ian took it extremely personally. They fell out of touch shortly after.
•Pushed by his mother to make a better life for himself than she could give him, he attended a decent college riding mostly on scholarships, and ultimately followed his tendency to take things apart & put them back together to decide on an engineering major.
•Did your rather stereotypical experimenting in his under-grad years, sleeping around and playing with recreational drugs off and on
Found out his mother had cancer not long after he started post-grad, she was a pack a day smoker who didn't quit even after her diagnosis. She passed away 6 months later.
•He spent a few years after her passing withdrawn and channeling all of his feelings into school or work or projects.
•Private consulting / contracting after getting his masters, took on a few apprentices and found he really liked sharing his knowledge or guiding them to their fullest potential.
•Experimented with teaching off and on until his resume was good enough to get an adjunct lecturer position at Berkeley, where he devoted most of his focus rather than contracted work.
•Started working toward his doctorate in tandem with this.
APPEARANCE: link one, link two
ABILITIES:
SUPERNATURAL
Matter Creation.
Essentially he can create matter/objects if he can visualize it in his mind - for example, a nail slowly forming itself together as if drawing from the air around it.
The limitations on this are vast - he has to know something in order to create it. For instance, he can't create a book he hasn't read or the pages will just be blank. He can't create diamonds because he doesn't just hang out with diamonds. Limited to no organic material - no food, plants, living creatures. He can make water at room temperature, coffee at the temperature his body is familiar with drinking it, and one single unfortunate brand of Tequila (thanks, college). He can also make a few varieties of lube, for both a mechanical and biological use (also thanks, college).
The larger and more complex an item is, the more difficult it is for him to make. He uses this gift often in engineering work, creating models or piece parts. If pressed he can also create entire machines if he intimately knows their inner workings, but frankly it's less exhausting just to make things by hand. It takes time for the atoms to knit themselves together, even more if he has to concentrate on separating parts from one another rather than melding them together. It's tedious, time consuming, absolutely exhausting work. If it's anything more complicated than a toaster it's going to take like a full fucking day. He could just build it faster.
NORMAL
Ian is an experienced engineer with enough of a resume and grasp on the subject that he was able to get a lecturer position at Berkeley, which is possible to get with only a Master's degree but isn't very common. He's also nearly finished completing his requirements for a doctorate. He minored in chemistry, but that's not his specialty.
SUITABILITY:
Later on in Ian's history, his world falls victim to alien subjugation. I'm taking him before then so the horror is more impactful, but it's worth mentioning because his ultimate history involves adapting to the horrifying realities of an apocalypse. There will be a several week span wherein he's a total bitch about things compared to your generic action hero — he is very much not a protagonist in any real sense. If he were going to be anything in a movie, he'd be the quirky sidekick or the random small-part love interest. He never really becomes that either, and instead as he gets accustomed to the whole grim-dark survival horror scene, he uses his talents as an engineer to improve the lives of the people in his camp & strategically plan scavenging missions by helping identify alien patterns. He also has a high tendency to be diplomatic and reasonable under pressure, so he provides valuable insight during intense urgent decision-making situations.
PERSONALITY.
● Your character has a chance to undo a terrible mistake, but in doing so, there could be unintended consequences for everyone they know. Is it worth the risk? Or should the dead stay dead?
If we're being incredibly literal here, the mistake he would undo isn't his own but rather his mother's. The end result, coincidentally, was in fact her death. She made the choice to not even bother trying to quit smoking after she was diagnosed with lung cancer, rendering her ineligible for a transplant and generally making treatment altogether pointless. He didn't understand her reasoning (the reality of their financial situation, the concept of saddling her only son with a tremendous amount of medical debt when she's worked her ass off her entire life to provide for him was just not acceptable) and to this day he still carries around an intense amount of baggage over it. It impacts his relationships, it scared him almost completely away from intimacy, and there's a low-burning resentment inside of him that he adamantly refuses to think about or deal with. In a nutshell, undoing that would be one of most impactful possible things that could ever happen to him.
However — because there's always a caveat, nothing is ever simple — one of Ian's stronger personality traits is having built himself around what he thinks a "good person" should be. He adheres to what he considers to be the most obvious moral truths, the notion that sometimes (but not always, he knows) there is just a black and white right or wrong, which means there's an obvious choice and an incorrect one. He considers himself wise enough to know the difference, and he refuses to deviate from it — to the point that it will, later in his life, cause a heated rivalry with the more militaristic personalities at his camp. He believes so vehemently in doing the right thing no matter what, he actually uses it to prop his ego up a little. He tends to judge people who don't agree with his stance on those issues, he consoles himself in fights by being "the better person" and staying calm during arguments while the other person spirals out, basically he just really fluffs himself on the notion that he's all good and wise and shit.
Combine that with his lingering resentment and a healthy dose of logic that he'd apply to the whole thing — namely that if his mother came back but still had cancer, she'd refuse treatment again and it will have all been for nothing — and he just couldn't live with himself for risking other people over it, no matter how much it screws him up thinking about the alternative.
● If your character had the option to permanently lose the ability to feel certain negative emotions like fear or grief, or permanently forget certain memories, would they take it? What if they will never know that something has been taken from them? Does loss only matter if it's known what's missing?
This is another area where Ian would like to tell himself he's emotionally wise — and not to be completely unfair of him, it does have a little bit of truth to it. Still, there's no denying that subconscious bit of ego that says 'I know what the right answer to this is, it's obvious'. He'd fall back to the well-worn adage that our memories are what makes us who we are. If we take away something from our past, we're taking away part of what makes us ourselves. He'd also love to go on a lecture about how negative emotions serve the purpose of contrasting positive ones, thereby making the latter more meaningful. You can only really appreciate happiness when you've experienced grief. It wouldn't be a very difficult issue for him to take a stance on — even if a small annoying portion of his brain acknowledges that without the pain of losing his mother he'd probably be healthier mentally.
● Could your character ever forgive themselves for something morally wrong that they've done? No matter how much time has passed? No matter how much penitence has been done? Is being sorry enough to be a good person?
This is an excellent transition to take from the above bullets, considering so much of him is wrapped around this sense of concrete belief in knowing right from wrong and consistently choosing to be right. Ian has a sort of semi-permanent state of chill, a nigh-unflappable calm at almost all times. His patience stretches a mile, and no amount of name-calling, insulting, digging, or general negativity really impacts that. It might seem like he has no temper at all, right up until he does. When personally slighted or otherwise given a solid reason to finally get angry, Ian goes from zero to one hundred fast. Those miles and miles of chill snap like a damn pencil, and he becomes a heated argumentative dick that targets the exact most hurtful thing he could say in that moment and he wields it like a knife, thrusting it right on in.
Afterward, the amount of guilt he feels over it is extremely weighty. He'll carry it until either the relationship fizzles entirely, or until he can have a conversation with the person to apologize with a real genuineness to it. Even after it's clear they've forgiven him, he'll still consider himself an asshole for a while longer.
If he's like that with something as small as an interpersonal argument, a huge moral wrongdoing would be unshakable. If it's not something he could apologize for, if it's not something he could be granted clear forgiveness for, he'd carry around with him for an exceptionally long time. It would generally dampen him on a day to day, and it would help turn him toward unhealthy coping mechanisms just like the eventual apocalypse will - mostly alcohol. He doesn't open up enough to let anyone in and get help unpacking the intense things that shake him to his core, so instead he'd numb the feeling as much as possible and invest all of his concentration constantly into some kind of work, some kind of project. It would screw up one of his ego's primary support beams, and the impact would be long term if not permanent.
● Your character has a secret they have been sworn to, but revealing this secret could save the lives of countless others. Is it worth breaking the promise to save others, or is betrayal never justifiable?
The difficult thing about Ian is his adamant refusal to let himself feel extremely attached to any one person. He jumps through an enormous amount of mental loops to dodge intimacy, and anything that seems more serious than casual friendship will make him sabotage or ghost someone - sometimes intentionally, sometimes subconsciously. This means that coming straight from home, he won't have any strong loyalty to any one character and won't for quite a long time until something forces him to. Without that gravity, he wouldn't feel obligated to keep a secret that could save lives. He'd be stoic and apologetic to whoever he betrayed, and he'd mean it, but he'd be filled with a sense of moral righteousness and justification that would concrete his decision.
Where this becomes precarious is after someone manages to coax emotional ties out of him. With enough work and determination, it's possible to break through Ian's protective walls and tug out that part of him that's extremely lonely. The reason he guards himself so tightly is because he doesn't think he could stand another loss, not after his mother. This means that once somebody is in, they're in. He'll fight tooth and nail to keep them, because the pain of losing a loved one is really his greatest fear. If the secret belonged to one of those kinds of people, the kind that matter to him, his whole sense of moral rightness would slam into his need to cling to "his person" in a conflicting way that would really lock him up. He'd struggle with this dilemma with everything in him.
His first impulse would be to try and reason with his person. When in doubt, logic and diplomacy to the rescue — he'll jump onto the subject and absolutely refuse to let it die if he thinks there's even a slim chance he can get them to see reason and, by extension, give him their permission to air that secret to the world. After reasoning would come pleading, arguing, desperately trying to make a case. If that proved futile, at the end of the day, he has to do the right thing. He just has to. He might tell himself that anyone who wouldn't be willing to share something damaging at the cost of other people's lives probably shouldn't be admired as much as he does, even if he didn't believe himself. That bullshit moral wisdom that's so easy to turn onto others turned on himself instead, and really it just makes him a little bit bitter.
After he inevitably lost that relationship over this, he'd fall back into the mindset of 'all relationships end, it was doomed from the start, I knew better, it was inevitable' and go on a nice alcoholic pity party by himself.
● Has your character ever gotten joy out of hurting others, physically or mentally? If they have, does it scare them?
The only times Ian has ever gotten anything resembling joy out of hurting someone else is purely verbal. The first and more innocent way stems from his tendency to stand up on his moral high horse about certain issues, snap-judge someone on the opposite side, and then enter a "casual conversation" about it. During this, he'd not-so-subtly probe at a person's mindset, their flawed decision-making, the ways that they're wrong, anything he can passive aggressively dig at to get them talking themselves into a hole. An example of this would be something like politics — he's definitely one of those dicks that will "just try to understand" a Republican's position but everyone can clearly see he's leading the conversation somewhere that likely annoys the shit out of the person he's talking to.
The second, markedly worse way is his tendency to sharply barb someone during an argument. Though it's rare, partly because he's really hard to push into losing his temper and partly because he doesn't let anyone in close enough for this kind of passion in the first place, when he does lose his cool he genuinely says the meanest possible shit. Whatever will sting the most, whatever cuts, whatever really just drives the knife in gives him a kind of instant gratification sensation in the moment. It feels good, it feels like he's won something or he's gotten some kind of justice from hurting someone back the way he feels hurt. He feels absolutely terrible afterward, but the concept of doing this doesn't scare him. He likes seeing himself as such a calm and measured individual, he doesn't consider what happens when he snaps — because he doesn't think he'll let himself snap, not until he's already snapping.
WRITING SAMPLES.
SAMPLES:
log sample
network sample
NOTES.
QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS: Sorry for all that tl;dr about an OC fellas, I have gotten Too Extra.